ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
