sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
