I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
