before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
