I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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