no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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