have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize