Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I had to cum in my sink.
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