just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
