if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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