We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Michael Bay diarrhea
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
