The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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