if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
