When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
