I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
