So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
