is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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