It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
