i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
time to smoke my breakfast
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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