I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
