I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
