happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
