only you would photoshop your dick
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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