I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
