I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
