I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
