I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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