Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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