well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
