Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
