I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
