i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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