I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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