Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
