Me too!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
