What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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