OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
