David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
