I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
