Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize