the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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