guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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