I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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