party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
