k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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