overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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