actually, I'm a sock model
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
