I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
