I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
