Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
