No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
