There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
