ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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