last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
