I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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