So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
