somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
