whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
