I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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