I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
