guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
