Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
