Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
