Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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