So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
