I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
