i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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